AgapeLady’s Blog

March 25, 2010

You are SOOOOO loved!

As I was driving home yesterday, just enjoying the sunshine and the beginning of Spring weather, a song came on my Christian radio station – Natalie Grant’s “Held.” Although the song always touches my heart, it seemed to draw me in even more than usual. As I listened to its words, my heart began to ache and the tears welled within my eyes. “This is what it means to be held, how it feels when the sacred is torn from your life, and you survive.” Just repeating those words makes my heart break. And the chorus continues… “This is what it is to be loved. And to know that the promise was when everything fell, we’d be held.”

Oh, dear ones, this song tells the tale of such deep loss and sorrow. I think the first time I heard it was after 9/11… when so many of us felt our hearts would break, when so many of us yearned to reach out in some small way to the many who were hurting, to the many who felt the loss of lives on that horrible day.

Do you know the LOVE that holds you tightly and offers comfort even midst such a difficult time? Have you ever felt the arms of the Almighty holding you close as you sobbed over some loss that seemed simply unbearable? And indeed it was – if not for His power to hold you up.

I have. And I have to tell you that there is nothing – absolutely NOTHING – like that dear, sweet love. When all else fails, when all else is gone, it’s that unconditional love – God’s sweet agape – that makes the difference, that somehow – I don’t understand it – holds us together when our world is falling apart. Nothing, dear ones, NOTHING can separate us from that love (Romans 8:37-39). Nothing, that is, but ourselves.

My heart aches to think of those who have lost sight of that love – whether because they have never had the opportunity to know it or because they have been so hurt by the traumas of this world that they have been blinded – or whether they simply overlook, put off, or disregard the gift. For that is what it is. It’s God’s GIFT to us in the form of His Son. John 3:16 tells us that God sent His one and only Son to bear our sin so that we would not be forever lost… forever separated from that love – not because He wants it that way, but because we don’t accept His gift, His sacrifice!

There was a time when I did not understand that love. When I could not comprehend a God who could somehow condemn some to an eternity in hell. I still don’t comprehend it all. But this I know: God has created us to love Him. There have been times that I wished I had no free will – because I fail so frequently – but… He has also gifted us with the ability to choose. And the thing is, dear friends – LOVE HAS TO BE FREELY GIVEN TO BE LOVE! If God had made us so that we had no choice, we would have “loved” Him, but it would have been a counterfeit love. He didn’t, because He so love us… He soooo loves YOU that He wanted it to be your choice! Isn’t that amazing??? Almighty God – the Creator of the Universe – longs for a personal LOVE relationship with us so much that He has gifted us with the opportunity to reject Him! He has gifted us with a choice.

So… my heart breaks today because I know there are many who are not choosing to accept that love and to love Him in return. I have recently lost someone dear to me in death who did not believe. I can only pray that in those final moments, he had a conversation with my God and made the choice to accept the Gift that was offered.

My heart aches today as I think of all those who don’t know the agape love that holds them in the midst of a time that is so totally incomprehensible, so unbearable… a love that will not, cannot let them go.

My heart aches for the One who offers that love and who feels the rejection from so many… and who does not have the same comfort that He provides to us. How HIS heart must ache and break for those who reject Him and are forever lost… I can only imagine His scarred hands stretching across a void, reaching for His beloved children who are falling forever out of His grasp.

Why, you ask? Because while He is a God who unconditionally loves us, He is also a HOLY God who demands perfection – and He made a way to meet those demands through Jesus Christ. By accepting that gift, we meet His demand for perfection and holiness in Jesus… and avoid the judgment. So, you who are reading this… what will you do with this knowledge? Will you pray and seek His love in your life? Will you make Him LORD? Oh, I hope so.

If you have not… or will not… know this: He loves you still. I love you still. And I pray that somehow, some way, His love will reach you.

In His GRIP,

AgapeLady

March 6, 2010

Any Day is Good for Love

I’ve heard news of several suicides recently, and my heart aches. I long for a day when I won’t hear of those who are in such emotional pain that they feel the need to end their lives. My heart aches because I’ve been there.

People who have never considered the idea of taking their own life do not conceive of the pain that drives a person to such negative thoughts. What could be worse than no life at all?! For those in emotional pain, it’s not so much that they don’t want to LIVE (indeed, I believe they do – they just seek a painless kind of living) as that they want the pain to stop. For some, cutting is intended to “drown” that pain, i.e., as they cut their wrists, they hope the physical pain of that can make them escape the emotional pain they’re experiencing.

That’s one of the things that keeps me going each day – the thought that there was a time when I felt that kind of pain, that kind of loneliness… and the knowledge of what carried me through that… and continues to carry me through.

Back in my college days, I actually attempted suicide. Thank God, I did not succeed! It was then that my Great Redeemer drew me to Him and began to give me the knowledge of HIS great love for me. But, even then, dear ones – the thoughts of suicide were not entirely gone.

I know some who are Christians will gasp in unbelief – how could I? Well, the truth is that when one is experiencing such loneliness and emotional pain, they are experiencing a kind of insanity. What causes such emotional pain and loneliness?

I think, deep down, we all long to be loved – completely and unconditionally. When we FEEL love (ah, yes, those questioning emotions), then the emotional pains and struggles of life are a little easier to handle. Even as a Christian, though I had read and heard that God loved me so much that He sent His one and only son – Jesus – to die for my sins (John 3:16), I did not – at first – truly comprehend and grasp the knowledge of that love.

You know what I mean… getting that knowledge the few inches from my head to my HEART. What a distance that can be at times!

After studying God’s Word and beginning to understand that true unconditional love – agape – the kind that sends a son to die for another – is an ACTION, not a FEELING. As I began to understand that, I began to also understand that God’s agape was not dependent in the least upon how I was feeling or what I had done. Instead, it simply IS. In other words, I can never do any more – or less – for God’s love. He just loves me – totally and completely, unconditionally.

I can’t say for sure when that head knowledge became heart knowledge – or even if I completely “get it” today. But one thing I know – when things get dark, I know today that the God of the Universe loves me… and He has everything I’m going through under His control. NOTHING escapes Him. And He has never forgotten me. In fact, my name is written in the palm of His hand. He bears its scars. That heart knowledge, dear ones, is what keeps me from considering suicide anymore. That knowledge combats the emotional pain – by holding me and comforting me when the pain otherwise envelops me. And let’s face it: Life can be hard.

So what can we do for those who DON’T know that love? My goal is to show it as much as I possibly can… as God enables me. I pray that I will be able to reach those who are so hurt by Life’s struggles and pains and that they will come to know the One who is able to completely heal with His love. THAT IS MY MISSION AND MY PASSION. Lord willing, by reaching one at a time with His Agape on any given day, there will be no more occasion for suicide. I know – one day – there will be no pain or sorrow (Rev. 21:4). Will you join me?

If  you are one who is thinking sad thoughts of suicide – I pray with all my heart that my ache for YOU will touch you through the Internet… contact me via this site, dear one. I WILL respond – I love you and want to introduce you to my GREAT LOVER, Jesus Christ. Trust me, He CAN make the difference in your life, just as He did for me.

May God grant you with the heart knowledge of His love,

AgapeLady

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